This is the logo for my new eCommerce site, WebEden. Here you can find lots of cool stuff you probably thought never existed, for less that the usual prices. You can order M80s, pipe bombs, whoopee cushions, black soap, squirting ink pens, and joy buzzers for pennies on the dollar.
Not only that, you can specify custom orders like fancy transportation cows with all the accouterments inside, perpetual motion machines, exotic pets, ice cream sundays, newspaper subscriptions from a parallel universe, human/robot offspring, bears, and toilet plungers.
You can even order anything you want. We'll find it or design it to meet all your needs. All you have to do is send us a lot of money up front (cash only, please), along with some instructions about what you want, if so desired. Then we'll get working on it. Don't email us asking when it will be finished; we'll let YOU know that.
I think it's important to know that tons of satisfied customers from Sheep to Paul have tried my store and found it highly satisfactory, even though I'm still working on their products. It's not like I'll just keep your money and shut the site down or anything. I'm still working on it so give me some time and I'll post the address.
"WebEden - Our Logo Says It All"
Woo hoo hoo.
Woo hoo hoo.
8 comments:
Do you guarantee your products? Can I just give you my credit card number to keep on file in case I can't find my money?
If the answers are Yes, the I would like to order some things I haven't been able to find anywhere else. Here is my list:
Bendy forks and spoons with Gumby & Pokey on the handles
Monica Lewinsky Bobblehead (for a friend)
Helium Balloon machine - the kind that makes balloons big enough so that I can travel lite.
Bow and Arrow set with built-in OBH sensor
Hey, my first custommumbler! TMM's gonna be so jealous.
I guarantee I will take you order and your money, yeah. If you mean guarantee they keep working after you get them... I guess it all depends.
We don't know anything about credit cards since I'm only 15, but if they give you cash EBENTUALLY, I'll try to learn about them.
I've got a box of those forks and spoons in my inbentory. One for one so far.
I don't have the bobblyhead that you want, but I know a guy that makes them so I'll ask if he could make that for you and let you know.
Paul has a big cannister of medical-grade helium that he uses to make himself talk funny. I'm sure we can accomodomate your order, after we see some money. What color of balloons? I have to warn you they'll probably have a big WebEden promotional logo on them, but at least they'll work.
I've got lots of bow and arrows, and I think I have an OBH sensor or two, I'll have to look. Paul should be able to hook them up together. I'm sure Tiny Moo Moo could too but he might have ethical problems with it.
I forgot to mention we also accept jugs of 100% USDA certified whole milk as payment in lieu of cash.
Woo hoo hoo.
whole milk? That can be worked out since I own a Mack Truck filled with cases and cases of that stuff. Hope you live in California! Boy, did I find a good spot to buy everything I need.
I don't really "live" in California but I can zap there, wherever that is. Just let me know where you truck is and leave it unlocked so me and Paul - I mean my employees - can unload all the leche.
Thank you for your patronage. We are still working on your order.
-Dennis & Assoc.
[Update: We got the bow & arrow / OBH sensor working. You should expect your order to arrive at some point the future.]
Still working on that Veronica Lebowski bobbly-head doll. Sheep, I mean the supplier, says it should be completed by "soon".
The Milk Truck is outside of Albertsons in Montgomery Village, Santa Rosa, California, USA, The Earth. Help yourself. I'll await my orders, thanks for your kindly letters.
Woo hoo hoo, nice doing business with you. We just finished the bobblehead. Your order should arrive in 3-7 days.
If it doesn't, it's because we forgot to mail it.
BTW, the OBH Bow and Arrow set works GREAT.
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